There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
