I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
