Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
do nipples grow back?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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