yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
