I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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