he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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