Dual....:-)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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