Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
