I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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