Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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