Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
