haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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