Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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