this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
They have beer where we have blood.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
