I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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