apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
