SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
