You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
