ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
thus making me awesome and them whores
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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