I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
