i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
