I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize