This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
