That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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