whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
