I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
