get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
