smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I want a musical about memes.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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