chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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