Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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