me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
