Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
