I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
