She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
