please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
