Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She's the barista slut.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
