im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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