Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
