K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
