Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize