where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
