were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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