A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
