Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Success! We fucked roommates!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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