Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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