so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
