Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
well you can't waste a boner
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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