did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
