we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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