We won't sleep together?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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