Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
