i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
