He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
