What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
