Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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