He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You took a bar mat shot.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
