No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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