I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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